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Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Vanity Fair Asks: Who's Better For Insults - Liam or Noel Gallagher?
Liam Gallagher, former Oasis front man, does not much care for the new Radiohead album. “I heard that fucking Radiohead record and I just go, ‘What?!’ I like to think that what we do, we do fucking well. Them writing a song about a fucking tree? Give me a fucking break! A thousand year old tree? Go fuck yourself! You’d have thought he’d have written a song about a modern tree or one that was planted last week. You know what I mean?” Really, really just did not like it very much. Gallagher and his brother Noel, also formerly of Oasis, are famous for their public distaste for many of their peers. But which Gallagher brother hates things better?
Below, we’ve collected some of their most memorable tirades.
Noel, on Scissor Sisters: “I particularly loathe Scissor Sisters. I like ‘Laura’ from the first record, but it’s music for squares, man. They’re huge in England, but there’s no accounting for bad taste as far as the English are concerned.”
Liam, on Scissor Sisters: “Bright colors and fucking weirdos on stilts? I’m more entertaining than that shit.”
Noel, on Mark Ronson: “He wants to write his own tunes instead of ruining everyone else’s. Mark Ronson needs to learn three chords on the guitar and write a tune.”
Liam, on his own song “Wonderwall”: “I can't fucking stand that fucking song! Every time I have to sing it I want to gag. Problem is, it was a big, big tune for us.”
Noel, on the Kaiser Chiefs: “I did drugs for 18 years and I never got that bad as to say, ‘You know what? I think the Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant.’”
Liam, on Billie Joe Armstrong, of Green Day: “Fuck right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head.”
Noel, again on the Kaiser Chiefs: “The worst thing about them is that they’re not very good. They play dress-up and sit on top of an apex of meaninglessness. They don’t mean anything to anybody apart from their fucking ugly girlfriends.”
Liam, on Noel: “I’ve heard his fucking new record ’cos I fucking sung on half of it. Fucking nonsense. When I was in America for Dig Out Your Soul, he swiped some off because he obviously knew he wanted to do a solo album.”
Noel, on Keane: “I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into onto his cock people would go ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night.’”
Liam, on Chris Martin: “Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What’s all that with writing messages about Free Trade? If he wants to write things down I'll give him a pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students.”
Really, though, Liam won us over early with “you’d have thought he’d have written a song about a modern tree or one that was planted last week.”
Via L4e / Vanity Fair
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