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Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Noel Gallagher's Sex Turkey Interview
From Noel Gallagher's official tour diary on oasisinet
Yess Mods and Rockers. Arrived in Santiago last night. A beautiful morning.
What follows is an actual interview that actually took place. On the phone. Yesterday. Actually.
Journalist: Hello, Noel?
Jnlst: Shall we begin?
Jnlst: Ok. Last time you were seen in Santiago with a sex turkey, what happened?
NG: ?? 'Scuse me?
Jnlst: My pardon. What happened with a sex turkey?
NG: I'm sorry, but did you say "a sex turkey"?
Jnlst: Yes. What happened with him?
HIM?? Jesus! Now, I'll freely admit - if pushed - that I've got up to some dubious gear in the past but this guy can't really think I've had full homosexual sex with a man-turkey? Can he?
NG: Ok. We seem to have crossed wires here. Shall we just go back to the beginning and start again? Slowly? Yes?
Jnlst: As you wish.
NG: Ok. Fire at will.
NG: Never mind, just get on with it!
Jnlst: Ok. Can you explain what it was like in Santiago with a sex turkey and how it compares with Chris Sharrock?
Now, I'm thinking, this is either a live radio comedy stunt thing or someone put acid in my tea.. unless...
NG: When you say a sex turkey, do you mean ZAK STARKEY?
Jnlst: Of course.
NG: Aah, Zak Starkey? You mean Zak Starkey?
Jnlst: Of course. What did you think I meant?
NG: Ha! Fuck, Zak Starkey! I thought you meant that I'd had..oh, never mind. I think we have to wrap this up.
Jnlst: But you never answer my question!!
NG: They're both the same. I need to lie down. Goodbye.
In a bit.
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